We have a garage apartment that we rent. My husband wanted to paint the apartment before our new tenant moved in this Friday but has been too involved in other projects to do it.
This weekend, I got the following email from him:
Please hire someone to repaint the apartment. I don't have the time.
I would have been happy to do that had I known a month ago, but of course, its too late to hire someone by Friday given where we live. So what did I do? I said, "I'll paint it". My husband snarled, "then I'll have to paint over your mistakes so I might as well just do it." So the place will be painted after all.
Its all a game. But he is a hard worker, I can say that for him!
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Hi again, J. P.,
I'm the one who left the comment earlier. And now, here I am again, looking for information, or is it confirmation, about the experience of being married to someone with Asperger's.
You asked me to share some things about my relationship. My husband, like yours, is able to do anything around the house and yard. In fact, that's one of the things that first attracted me to him. I always appreciated a "handy man", growing up in a family of handy men. But also I was attracted to his quiet, steady character, his intelligence, his regal bearing, his non-demandingness.
And my daughter, like yours, is able to redirect my husband with grace. I have my own methods. I use a lot of cognitive behavioral strategies (rewarding behaviors I want him to continue and ignoring what I don't).
Unlike yours, mine doesn't use e-mail to communicate with me. Instead, he just doesn't talk must of the time. Interestingly, early morning is the best time to have an easy conversation with him. Otherwise it seems he is only interested in "teaching me" or telling me something that I really don't want or need to know. Or already know. He is actually quite good at interacting with others but he says he dislikes doing so. You'd never know. He knows details and nuances about all sorts of things and likes to share his knowledge with others. People often tell me that conversing with him is stimulating and enlightening.
He is good with word play and makes wonderful puns. On the other hand, if I tell a joke, he is usually unappreciative. I think he just doesn't get the joke. So I laugh (inside) at my own jokes.
Ann
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