Misdirection of inner rage

After a few good days, my husband is now acting out again. My goodness is he a mess. He has completely stopped talking to me and our daughter. He goes to bed at 8 without saying goodnight to either of us. He is never home for dinner and, on the occasion he is home, he never joins us. He acts like he just can't cope with the sight of us. Virtually every word out of his mouth is angry. Yesterday morning, I asked, "Are you angry at me or angry". He said, "Just angry". He answers things in grunts or won't answer at all. If he laughs at something he sees on the computer, and I say, "What are you laughing at?" he says "Nothing". It's like being the mother of a sullen teenage boy. When I got home from work yesterday, he said "Nathalie called". I said, "What did she say". He said, "read your email". He simply wouldn't say what the call was about. When I finally read the email, it said, "Nathalie will meet you for your run at 6:30 tomorrow morning". That he couldn't just say this to me is astonishing and emblematic of his complete unwillingness to communicate. His work is going wrong (I think someone scooped him on the project he was doing) and he is taking it out on us. He simply can't differentiate where his anxiety and anger are really coming from and directs everything and his family.

Tonight, he wasn't home when we got home for dinner. I made dinner and Lauren and I were eating. He comes storming in the house.

"Hi, Tony. Welcome home"
No answer.
"Hi, Daddy"
"Hi" (say angrily)
"Where were you, Daddy?"
"Out"
"Where, out?"
"Not here"
"Where not here?"
"Just not here".

He then stormed out of the house onto the deck. There, he opened the cooler that was still on the deck from a party this past weekend and proceeded to dump all the juice bags (about 30 of the them) on the ground. He then brought them in bunches into the kitchen and viciously stabbed them all in the sink with juice flying everywhere on the walls, cabinets and floor. After a second trip to kill the juice bags, he went outside and lofted the remaining ones into the woods. Of course, Tony was home all day and could have eliminated the juice boxes whenever he wanted. But he waited to do it when we were both within feet of him for some sort of dramatic effect. It worked. Our daughter, at this point, said "can I go to the neighbors?" I of course, said "please".

Tony then came into the house and started complaining that it was a pigsty. I had just made dinner so their was the usual minor dinner-making detritus, but, as always, most of the stuff lying around the house is his mess. He doesn't mind his own things littering the house, just the small additions that my daughter and I make. He proceeded to throw out one of my daughter's plants . I asked him what was wrong. No answer. I asked him about the juice boxes and he said "they were in the way". I said "we always keep the extras in the cooler". He said furiously, "they're in the way. We never drink them and they're in the way". He then said something about leaving. "I said, don't threaten. If you need to leave, leave, but don't keep threatening about it." Of course, it'll never happen.

Later, when things were somewhat quieter, I asked, "Do you want to tell me about your work?"
"No".

A typical night in our house.